145+ Funniest Letterkenny Quotes That Are Pure Gold (Pitter Patter!)

Few shows trade jokes as fast as Letterkenny. The funniest Letterkenny quotes pack a joke, an insult, and a Canadian twist into one breath. Wayne, Daryl, and Squirrelly Dan make small-town life sound like a stand-up show.

This list has 145+ best Letterkenny quotes and sayings from Wayne, Katy, Shoresy, and the hockey players. You also get slang meanings, caption tips, and quick answers to common fan questions. Pitter patter, let’s get at ’er!

Funniest Letterkenny Quotes and Sayings From Wayne and the Gang

Letterkenny began as the web series Letterkenny Problems, then ran for 12 seasons and won Best Comedy Series at the Canadian Screen Awards. In the U.S., fans stream it on Hulu.

Wayne quotes

• “Pitter patter, let’s get at ’er.”
• “Hard no.”
• “Not my pig, not my farm.”
• “Get off the cross, we need the wood.”
• “You’re made of spare parts, aren’t you, bud?”
• “And I suggest you let that one marinate.”
• “Let’s go easy over there, Squirrelly Dan.”
• “Ever hear of Johnny Cash?”
• “If you have a problem with the majestic Canadian Goose, then you have a problem with me.”
• “The stupidest thing I ever heard in my life is that a baby is smart.”
• “Tim’s, McDonald’s, and the beer store are all closed on Christmas Day. And that’s your whole world right there.”
• “You wish there was a pied piper for possums.”
• “Oh, come on, kitten. I won’t tell anyone.”
• “You’d best be preparin’ for a Donny Brook.”
• “Well, there’s nothing better than a fart. Except kids falling off bikes, maybe.”
• “You lose a lot of heat in the neck.”
• “You’re 10-Ply, bud.”
• “Sing us a song or something. Do a trick.”
• “Oh, I got so much time for sushi.”
• “There’s something really pervy about that word ‘taste.’”
• “The bottom inch of a beer bottle is 50% spit.”
• “You trying to sneak a sunrise past a rooster, Tanis?”
• “In the words of the genre-bending Canadian indie rock band Arcade Fire, ‘wake up.’”
• “You’re a cup of baby carrots.”
• “You’re softer than a Cinnabon sampler.”
• “If I’m an ant, I’m operating the seadoo with my antennae.”
• “There’s happiness calling my name from the bottom of a bottle of Puppers.”
• “Oh, darts I smoked and hearts I broked.”
• “As sure as God’s got sandals, it beats fighting dudes with treasure trails.”
• “It’s always OK to fart when you’re alone. Except when you’re in elevators. That’s uncouth.”

Katy quotes

• “That was well brought up. Too bad you weren’t.”
• “Not my forte.”
• “What’s the matter, boys? Not enough wood to make the furniture?”
• “That’s when you leave, but you only say goodbye to the cat.”
• “If I was a Dr. Seuss book, I’d be The Fat in the Hat.”
• “On a scale from one to America, how free are you right now?”
• “Oh, I’m stomping the brakes, put that idea right through the windshield.”
• “You guys going to be wearing belts?”
• “Who doesn’t love fishin’ in Quebec?”
• “So how ’bout it, boys? You can always count on ol’ Katy cat.”
• “If you smelly gamey, you ain’t gonna lay me.”

Daryl quotes

• “I see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow?”
• “How would you batch in space?”
• “The less you say now, the less you have to apologize for later.”
• “Legen-Dary.”
• “You guys do CrossFit?”
• “It’s a four-leaf clover! Make a wish!”
• “Maybe they tranqed the ostrich.”
• “This eau de toilette is enchantingly refreshing on summer days like this.”
• “You knew your pal had come into money when he started throwing out perfectly good pistachios.”
• “You came to after having a bar fight. Felt like you got hit by a car, right?”

Squirrelly Dan quotes

• “Yeah. Oh, hey, look at you, ground.”
• “I’m too fat to run.”
• “I’m so upset about my perennials.”
• “Your sister’s hot, Wayne! There I said it!”
• “You’re pretty good at wrestlin’ there, Katy, and that’s what I appreciates about you.”
• “He is otherworldly! He’s got a dome like an Easter Island statue.”
• “Uncle-llegedly.”
• “Lions is lucky Canada Gooses don’t migrate to Africa. Then they’d be extinct.”
• “Wheel, snipe, celly, boys!”
• “Why don’t you guys wear belts?”
• “Ya guys know if Gail’s makin’ pickled eggs or pickled sausages?”
• “You love that movie The Fox and the Hound so much you can’t kill the fox that’s been getting into the chicken coop.”

Gail, Stewart and other Letterkenny quotes

• “Why 69%? Both sides benefit! Good enough!” — Gail
• “Look, if you are coming, come correct.” — Gail
• “Something about that old goat just really grinds my pepper.” — Gail
• “Make sure you use that sunscreen ’cause it’s a great day for hay.” — Gail
• “Your sister’s lasagna gave everyone the scoots for weeks up in here.” — Gail
• “I need to give you one more chance to retract, no questions asked.” — Gail
• “Nobody speaks Celine Dion’s name in a hostile tone.” — Jean-Carl
• “Yew! That’s what I said.” — Stewart
• “Our daughters, Charity… and her sister Chastity… are on their gap year, once.” — Noah Dyck

Funny Letterkenny Shoresy Chirps and Hockey Players Insults

Hockey chirps drive some of the show’s fastest laughs. Shoresy was the king of the chirp before his spin-off, Shoresy, landed on Crave. A good chirp has a target, a setup, and a sharp twist at the end.

Shoresy chirps

• “You wanna come to a super soft birthday party?”
• “Your mom just liked my Instagram post from two years ago in Puerto Vallarta.”
• “Jonesy, your life is so pathetic I get a charity tax break just by hanging around you.”
• “Betty-Ann, your breath’s so bad it gave me an existential crisis.”
• “Tell your mom to top off the cell phone she bought me so I can FaceTime her late night!”
• “Boulevard of broken dreams!”
• “Good shift, cuteness.”
• “You’re a first-place club beating a team that’s been together a week.”
• “Got any more of that electric lettuce? These darts aren’t doing it.”
• “I don’t want you to kiss and tell, that’s impolite… but I am kind of curious.”
• “Tell your mom to leave me alone, she’s been laying on my waterbed since Labour Day.”
• “Reilly! Fight me, see what happens.”
• “Tell your mom I drained the bank account she set up for me. Top it up so I can get some KFC.”

Hockey players chirps

• “Oh, c’mon, where’s your jam, bud?” — Reilly
• “I mean, just because my name is Reilly doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m a drunken leprechaun.” — Reilly
• “You looking for a tilly, buddy? Let’s have a donnybrook.” — Reilly
• “Nice onesie! Does it come in men’s?” — Reilly
• “Put a shirt on, Shoresy!” — Reilly
• “I’m Jean C. Reilly.” — Reilly
• “Where’s the sacrifice?” — Jonesy
• “We need backup, boys.” — Jonesy
• “Lemony Snicket, what a Series of Unfortunate Events you been through.” — Jonesy
• “You’re a terrible ref, Shoresy!” — Jonesy
• “We only got one shot at this. One chance. One win.” — Coach
• “Vomit on your mom’s spaghetti, or whatever that talking singer says.” — Coach
• “Did little Natisha take your last Halloween Oreo?” — Coach
• “I have never been less embarrassed in all my life.” — Coach
• “They’re just pheasants with better marketing.” — Coach

While Letterkenny delivers sharp humor and unforgettable one-liners, some quotes offer a deeper perspective on society and human nature. Explore these thought-provoking George Orwell quotes to discover powerful insights that can completely shift your reality and challenge the way you see the world.

Short Letterkenny Catchphrases, Slang and One-Liners

Short lines travel best in texts, memes, and captions. Here are the Letterkenny catchphrases, slang, and extra one-liners fans repeat most.

More Wayne one-liners

• “Jinx, you owe me a Coke.”
• “I want to give back to the community by helping people find love.”
• “Well, there’s more than one crab in the bucket, there, bud.”
• “I wish you weren’t so awkward, bud.”
• “It’s like algebra… why you gotta put numbers and letters together?”
• “Here’s a poem. Starlight, star bright, why you got earrings on?”
• “She’s a pretty girl. It’s just… you could let the paint dry a wee bit there, eh?”
• “Buddy, you couldn’t wheel a tire down a hill.”
• “If you had as many bucks in your wallet as bucks mounted on your wall, you’d have, well, give or take six bucks.”
• “You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl.”
• “Sometimes a tater will just roll out of there unexpected.”
• “Well, it’s a terrific opportunity.”
• “Besides the time I seen ya singing Beyoncé in the car wash, you’re not much of a performer.”
• “Poopin’ into buckets.”
• “I’ll drop you as an adult.”
• “Hey! The door’s locked!”
• “I think you come in men enough for all of us.”
• “Closest you’re gettin’ to any action this weekend is givin’ the dairy cow’s teats a good scrubbin’.”
• “People should only get hammered together so that you never have to see how obnoxious your friends actually are.”
• “Every woman knows that the way to a man’s heart is not through his zipper; it’s through his stomach.”
• “A gal at the bar said she liked how your pants fit, but she said it in a baby voice, and really, she can do that on her own time.”
• “You stopped toe curlin’ in the hot tub…”
• “I’ll spell with you any day of the week.”
• “It’s a hard life picking stones and pulling teats.”

Fan favorites

• “Figure it out!” — Everyone
• “To be faaaair…” — Everyone
• “Letterkenny consists of hicks, skids, hockey players and Christians. These are their problems.”
• “Get this guy a Puppers.” — Daryl
• “Your sister’s lasagna gave me scoots.” — Daryl
• “Hey! He said simmers down, so simmers down!” — Squirrelly Dan
• “Eyes on your own work there, Super Chief!”
• “Mike, you best sort yourself out.”
• “End of the laneway. Don’t come up the property.”
• “Naw, he’ll have one in his purse. Or maybe his clutch.”
• “As long as everyone’s having a good time, there’s no need to be a poopy pants.”
• “Hey girl. Are you Barta Beef? ’Cause I’d flip you once every minute.”
• “I wish all were not so strange in the world.”
• “I could watch kids smackin’ into plywood all day.”
• “Your friend says his sled’s got so much torque he can’t keep the front end down.”
• “I suppose… if ya really wanted to get to the bottom of it… we could find someone. Someone who farms ostriches.”

Letterkenny slang and what it means

• “Puppers” is the show’s word for beer.
• “Scoots” means an upset stomach.
• “Donny Brook” means a fight.
• “Chel” is fan slang for hockey.
• “Bud” is how the gang addresses friends and rivals alike.
• “Hicks” are the farm crowd.
• “Skids” are the town’s partiers.
• “Degens” is the show’s name for the drug-using crowd.
• “Irish goodbye” means leaving without telling anyone.
• “Tokyo sayonara” means leaving but saying goodbye only to the cat.

Quick facts and caption tips

• Jared Keeso co-created the show and plays Wayne. He based it loosely on his hometown of Listowel, Ontario.
• The final six episodes arrived on Crave on Dec. 25, 2023, with Hulu following a day later, according to series details.
• For Instagram captions, try “Hard no,” “Not my pig, not my farm,” or “Figure it out!”
• For a birthday card, try “You wanna come to a super soft birthday party?”

FAQs

What are the most famous quotes from Letterkenny?

The most famous lines are “Pitter patter, let’s get at ’er,” “Hard no,” “Figure it out!”, “Not my pig, not my farm,” and “Let that one marinate.” Fans repeat them because they are short, punchy, and easy to reuse in daily talk.

What is Wayne’s catchphrase in Letterkenny?

Wayne’s best-known catchphrase is “Pitter patter, let’s get at ’er.” He also says “Hard no” often and calls nearly everyone “bud.”

What does “Pitter patter, let’s get at ’er” mean in Letterkenny?

It means “let’s get moving.” Fans use it before a chore, a fight, or a party. It works like a rally cry for the gang.

What are the best Shoresy chirps and insult quotes from Letterkenny?

Three fan favorites are “Your mom just liked my Instagram post from two years ago in Puerto Vallarta,” the charity tax break line aimed at Jonesy, and “Betty-Ann, your breath’s so bad it gave me an existential crisis.”

What are the best Hockey Players chirps in Letterkenny?

Top picks include Reilly’s “Where’s your jam, bud?”, Jonesy’s “Where’s the sacrifice?”, and Coach’s “We only got one shot at this. One chance. One win.”

Conclusion

The funniest Letterkenny quotes show why this Canadian comedy still has a loyal fan base. Wayne’s deadpan lines, Shoresy’s chirps, and the gang’s slang make every scene easy to quote. Pick a favorite and use it in your next text, caption, or group chat. Then share this list with a friend who needs a good laugh. Pitter patter, let’s get at ’er!